Funny how things work...

Remember just a couple of days ago when I said something like "I hope this praise continues when it's our turn in the valleys"? Yeah? Well it's our turn now. Maybe we're not in just the valleys. I mean, I feel like we've surpassed the valley; I feel like we fell straight to the bottom of the canyon. And it hurt. So yesterday, when we got some disappointing news, I called my prayer support chain - my family. ---On a side note: I do believe my family's prayers are one of the only reasons I haven't gone crazy in this psychotic life--- When my grandmother mentioned that she asked for prayer from a family friend, she said this lady's response was "How exciting to see what God has in store for them!" Oooookkaayyy lady. This is my life that was just turned upside down and you think it's exciting??? It made me laugh after I realized that the lady saying this has been through hell and back in her own life. If she can see that God has a plan for everything, I can too. This is nothing - and I do mean NOTHING - compared to what she's been through. So I decided to take that approach. The "yeah-so-what-things-aren't-going-my-way-big-deal-let's-be-excited-to-see-what-God-has-in-store-for-me" approach. And then this morning, God showed himself to me. Let me explain... For a while now, I've really felt like I was praying to the ceiling. My prayers were hitting the roof and bouncing right back at me, never reaching God's ears. I've begged, I've pleaded, and through it all I've praised. I didn't feel like praising Him but every morning, I told Satan to get out of my way, and I obeyed God by reading His word and communicating with Him. I felt like it was getting me nowhere. I didn't feel like it was doing any good. Until this morning. I was in the closet (don't ask), on my knees, reading this Psalm:

The Lord builds up Jerusalem; he gathers the exiles of Israel.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.

Great is the Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.

-Psalm 147:2-5

All of a sudden, I felt this overwhelming presence beside me and a picture in my mind of me on my knees crying and Jesus kneeling beside me, carefully cleaning and healing my wounds. Don't get me wrong. The answer to my dilemma wasn't written on the wall or verbally announced to me. I'm still confused about our next step; but He let me know that He was there. All the while, He hears me and He's beside me. God knew I was at the end of my rope and wanted to throw in the towel and he reinforced the fact that He hasn't left me and He never will. He's the author of my story and I'm still in the first few chapters. I may not know where I'm going but all I need to do is take one more step because He's walking in front of me. As long as I keep my eyes on Him, I'm where I need to be. It was a great morning.