Photo a Day

I've decided to start (and try to remember to finish) a project for 2013. It's called Photo a Day and every day the project gives you a word. You have to take a picture of something that word represents to you. I've missed the first 2 days of 2013 so we'll start from today!

Funny Lord. Real Funny...

It never ceases to amaze me that God knows how stubborn I am and when He decides to teach me a lesson, He really hammers it home. Take, for instance, my trust issue. He thought I needed more so He brought a minor-league baseball player into my life and now I live a life having no idea where I'll be tomorrow. Or take my innate desire to be by myself and not want to reach out too much. Just last year alone we lived with approximately 9 different roommates, a host family, and I was forced to meet new wives because of a new team. He really knows how to teach me a lesson. So when I began praying to understand His love better, I should've known He wouldn't answer that prayer any differently. I'm excited to hear what He has to teach me on this lesson because we're not far into it and it's already been amazing! I shared recently on how I'm learning not to live in my regrets. To me that's all a part of understanding God's love. If we could even grasp a tiny morsel of how much He loves us, I believe it changes our view on a lot. So anyways, it was funny to me when I decidedout of the blue to start reading Brennan Manning's "Ruthless Trust" this morning. I've had it forever but haven't read it yet because I've been in the middle of other books. Which is why it was strange that I felt compelled to start it this morning because I'm still in the middle of another book. However, once I opened it and began to read, it was no longer odd to me... I knew it was exactly what God wanted me to do. You first need to know that this book is a sequel to his other book "The Ragamuffin Gospel" in which he talks about how God's love is available to us no matter what state our lives are in. So when it says the word "ragamuffin", that's why. Let me share an excerpt with you:

After stumbling and falling, the ragamuffin does not sink into despondency and endless self-recrimination; she quickly repents, offers the broken moment to the Lord, and renews her trust in the Messiah of sinners. She knows that Jesus is comfortable with broken people who remember how to love.


Ahhh. He always knows exactly what I need to hear. I'm looking forward to reading more of this book.

Miss you all!

Redemption

Redeem   [ri-deem] 1.to buy or pay off; clear by payment 2.to recover (something pledged) by payment or other satisfaction 3.to release from blame or debt _____________________________________________________________________ Recently, I've discovered a song that I listen to at least 3 times a day... Probably more. The song is called "Redeemed" by Big Daddy Weave. You can watch the video here... OR, here are the lyrics... ________________________________________________________________________________________ Seems like all I could see was the struggle Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past Bound up in shackles of all my failures Wondering how long is this gonna last Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son Stop fighting a fight it's already been won" I am redeemed, You set me free So I'll shake off these heavy chains Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be I am redeemed, I'm redeemed All my life I have been called unworthy Named by the voice of my shame and regret But when I hear You whisper, "Child lift up your head" I remember, oh God, You're not done with me yet I am redeemed, You set me free So I'll shake off these heavy chains Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be Because I don't have to be the old man inside of me 'Cause his day is long dead and gone Because I've got a new name, a new life, I'm not the same And a hope that will carry me home I am redeemed, You set me free So I'll shake off these heavy chains Wipe away every stain, 'cause I'm not who I used to be I am redeemed, You set me free So I'll shake off these heavy chains Wipe every stain, yeah, I'm not who I used to be Oh, God, I'm not who I used to be Jesus, I'm not who I used to be 'Cause I am redeemed Thank God, redeemed _______________________________________________________________________________________ If you know me at all, you're aware that I've done plenty of things I'm not proud of. Tim and I were talking the other day about regrets. A popular saying these days is "I have no regrets". I actually hate that saying for a few reasons. One being that it's completely selfish. When you screw up, you not only hurt yourself but people around you as well. For me to say that I have no regrets - I feel like - would be a slap in the face to my family. It'd be like saying "I lied to you, I pulled away from you, I said things that weren't kind to you, I turned my back on everything you guys have tried to teach me, and I treated you poorly, but oh... I have no regrets about it". That would be a big negative. Not only is it selfish, but in my opinion it shows a lack of maturity. If you mess up - which everyone does - but you never come to a place where you look back and go Gee, that's not how I wanted to live my life then you never come to a place where you've moved beyond that. If you don't regret anything you've done, why would you ever want to change? I believe that you need to feel guilty and regret things in order to move beyond them and become a better person. We cannot accept God's grace and love until we come to the place where we realize that we need it. Now, having said all of that, I've realized lately that I've become stuck in my regrets. Like chains draped over my shoulders, I was allowing my regrets to dictate my actions. I'm not sure if it comes from growing up in sports, being in unhealthy relationships, or if it's just ingrained in my human nature, but I constantly feel like I need to do more good to make up for all the bad I've done. Recently God showed me that living like that is like running on a hamster wheel: I'll tire myself out from working so hard but I won't actually go anywhere. God gave me His son... I can't compete. So while I believe that you should regret things, I now realize that taking ownership of your mistakes doesn't mean living in them. That's the entire purpose of God sending His son. We were bought with that price and we have no reason to hold on to our mistakes because He's already taken care of them. My favorite line in this song is Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son Stop fighting a fight it's already been won" The battle is already won and I don't have to live in my regrets. I learn from them and continue to strive to draw nearer to Him.

Quote

"Do you have a hunger for God? If we don't feel strong desires for the manifestation of the glory of God, it is not because we have drunk deeply and are satisfied. It is because we have nibbled so long at the table of the world. Our soul is stuffed with small things, and there is no room for the great." -John Piper

Donald Miller

“If we are not willing to wake up in the morning and die to ourselves, perhaps we should ask ourselves whether or not we are really following Jesus.”

Devotion

I loved my baseball chapel story this morning so I thought I'd share. Taken from www.baseballchapel.org

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“After the earthquake came a fire, but The Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.” 1 Kings 19:12

Let me share with you a story about a young man and his grandfather. The young man had recently lost his job and didn’t know which way to turn. His grandfather had always been a voice of reason in his life, so the young man got in his truck and paid him a visit.

When he pulled up in the drive, the young man found his grandfather patiently waiting for him in the rocking chair on the front porch. After getting out and exchanging pleasantries, the conversation soon turned to the young man’s job loss. Pacing about the porch, the young man ranted about his problem until finally with clenched fists he shouted, “I’ve begged God to say something to help me. Tell me grandpa, why doesn’t God answer? I don’t understand.”

His grandfather, still gently rocking in his chair, spoke something in reply - something so hushed it was indistinguishable. The young man stepped across the porch. “What did you say grandpa?” he asked. His grandfather repeated himself, but again in a tone as soft as a whisper. So the young man moved closer until he was leaning on the rocking chair. “I’m sorry for yelling,” he said, “ but I still didn’t hear you.” With their heads bent together, his grandfather spoke once more. “God sometimes whispers,” he said, “so we will move closer to hear Him.” This time the young man heard his grandfather and he understood

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I loved the word picture that this story painted. I want my head bent together with His.

Happy Jesus is Alive Day!!!!

God is Good

So it's the last day of Spring Training and when Tim left for the field this morning, we still had no idea as to where we'd be living in 24 hours. That's the nature of this game - uncertainty.

When I first met Tim back in college, the only things I knew about baseball came from my brief stint as outfield onion picker on my 8 and under softball team (i.e. 3 strikes and you're out). Little did I know that this game would change my life.

I often joke that baseball is my sister wife; my husband's other love. We don't necessarily like each other, but we tolerate each other because he loves us both. But starting this off season and continuing into now, God's shown me reasons to love this crazy game and the uncertain life that it brings: it pushes me further into Him. If you don't know me, I can be a bit... Ummm... Tim might say hard headed. I've always (unfortunately) had to learn from my own mistakes and tried to control situations in my life. This has always led to me (again...unfortunately) trying to fix things and live life without asking for my Creator's help. With baseball, I have zero control. And when I say zero, I mean sub zero. Below what you think is possible. Zip. Nada. NONE. Baseball robs me of every constant in my life. Thus, forcing me to *cringe* TRUST God's plan.

This winter God laid a thought on my heart and has been reminding me of it every day since: Baseball is my mission field. We see so many places and meet so many people through this game. We are called to make disciples. This is my mission field. So I knew wherever God sent us, that's where He wanted our mission to be.

Easier said than done.

C.S. Lewis once said “We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.” This is where I have been. As days passed here in Arizona, and other guys were finding out their plans, I began to let fear overtake my being. I knew that God would provide. He always has. There've been nights when we blew up an air mattress and slept in the bat boy's locker room, but we had a roof over our heads. Even last year, when he got released, it turned out for the better. So my issue has never been "WILL God provide?", it's how hard life would have to be while obeying. What if He wanted us HERE?! In Arizona?! Or what if he wanted Tim to get released... Again? I let all of the bad possibilities overtake my thoughts and forgot the most important thing for a while: GOD IS ON HIS THRONE. Period. No matter where we are. Over the past few days (wih STILL no word), I've come to peace with that.

My husband just texted me and told me he made the AAA roster. This is huge for us considering that a few hours ago we were wondering if he'd have a job at all. But you know what I realized when I heard the news? God is not good because my husband is going to AAA, or because he has a job. God is good because He is God. He loves us more than our human brains can comprehend. Always has. Always will. He uses tough times and periods of waiting to draw us closer to Him. God is no better today because my husband made a team than he was around this time last year when my husband got released. He has promised to never leave us nor forsake us. He says he has a plan; to prosper us, not to harm us. This is always. Good times, bad times, yesterday, today, forever. God didn't put us in Louisville so that we could boast, He put us there because that's where He wants us to serve right now.

I fully realize how much God has blessed me with, or without, baseball. He has given me a family that shows me unconditional love, a husband that loves Christ more than he loves me, a roof over my head, and -oh yeah- HIS SON. That's where my strength comes from. Knowing that He will never, ever, ever, leave me.

Let me say this one more time: God is not good because my husband has a job. He is good because He is God. Valleys will come. Hardships will show up. But I know that God will always walk in front of me so that I don't fall. So take THAT baseball. There IS a constant in my life.