Funny Lord. Real Funny...

It never ceases to amaze me that God knows how stubborn I am and when He decides to teach me a lesson, He really hammers it home. Take, for instance, my trust issue. He thought I needed more so He brought a minor-league baseball player into my life and now I live a life having no idea where I'll be tomorrow. Or take my innate desire to be by myself and not want to reach out too much. Just last year alone we lived with approximately 9 different roommates, a host family, and I was forced to meet new wives because of a new team. He really knows how to teach me a lesson. So when I began praying to understand His love better, I should've known He wouldn't answer that prayer any differently. I'm excited to hear what He has to teach me on this lesson because we're not far into it and it's already been amazing! I shared recently on how I'm learning not to live in my regrets. To me that's all a part of understanding God's love. If we could even grasp a tiny morsel of how much He loves us, I believe it changes our view on a lot. So anyways, it was funny to me when I decidedout of the blue to start reading Brennan Manning's "Ruthless Trust" this morning. I've had it forever but haven't read it yet because I've been in the middle of other books. Which is why it was strange that I felt compelled to start it this morning because I'm still in the middle of another book. However, once I opened it and began to read, it was no longer odd to me... I knew it was exactly what God wanted me to do. You first need to know that this book is a sequel to his other book "The Ragamuffin Gospel" in which he talks about how God's love is available to us no matter what state our lives are in. So when it says the word "ragamuffin", that's why. Let me share an excerpt with you:

After stumbling and falling, the ragamuffin does not sink into despondency and endless self-recrimination; she quickly repents, offers the broken moment to the Lord, and renews her trust in the Messiah of sinners. She knows that Jesus is comfortable with broken people who remember how to love.


Ahhh. He always knows exactly what I need to hear. I'm looking forward to reading more of this book.

Miss you all!

Redemption

Redeem   [ri-deem] 1.to buy or pay off; clear by payment 2.to recover (something pledged) by payment or other satisfaction 3.to release from blame or debt _____________________________________________________________________ Recently, I've discovered a song that I listen to at least 3 times a day... Probably more. The song is called "Redeemed" by Big Daddy Weave. You can watch the video here... OR, here are the lyrics... ________________________________________________________________________________________ Seems like all I could see was the struggle Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past Bound up in shackles of all my failures Wondering how long is this gonna last Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son Stop fighting a fight it's already been won" I am redeemed, You set me free So I'll shake off these heavy chains Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be I am redeemed, I'm redeemed All my life I have been called unworthy Named by the voice of my shame and regret But when I hear You whisper, "Child lift up your head" I remember, oh God, You're not done with me yet I am redeemed, You set me free So I'll shake off these heavy chains Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be Because I don't have to be the old man inside of me 'Cause his day is long dead and gone Because I've got a new name, a new life, I'm not the same And a hope that will carry me home I am redeemed, You set me free So I'll shake off these heavy chains Wipe away every stain, 'cause I'm not who I used to be I am redeemed, You set me free So I'll shake off these heavy chains Wipe every stain, yeah, I'm not who I used to be Oh, God, I'm not who I used to be Jesus, I'm not who I used to be 'Cause I am redeemed Thank God, redeemed _______________________________________________________________________________________ If you know me at all, you're aware that I've done plenty of things I'm not proud of. Tim and I were talking the other day about regrets. A popular saying these days is "I have no regrets". I actually hate that saying for a few reasons. One being that it's completely selfish. When you screw up, you not only hurt yourself but people around you as well. For me to say that I have no regrets - I feel like - would be a slap in the face to my family. It'd be like saying "I lied to you, I pulled away from you, I said things that weren't kind to you, I turned my back on everything you guys have tried to teach me, and I treated you poorly, but oh... I have no regrets about it". That would be a big negative. Not only is it selfish, but in my opinion it shows a lack of maturity. If you mess up - which everyone does - but you never come to a place where you look back and go Gee, that's not how I wanted to live my life then you never come to a place where you've moved beyond that. If you don't regret anything you've done, why would you ever want to change? I believe that you need to feel guilty and regret things in order to move beyond them and become a better person. We cannot accept God's grace and love until we come to the place where we realize that we need it. Now, having said all of that, I've realized lately that I've become stuck in my regrets. Like chains draped over my shoulders, I was allowing my regrets to dictate my actions. I'm not sure if it comes from growing up in sports, being in unhealthy relationships, or if it's just ingrained in my human nature, but I constantly feel like I need to do more good to make up for all the bad I've done. Recently God showed me that living like that is like running on a hamster wheel: I'll tire myself out from working so hard but I won't actually go anywhere. God gave me His son... I can't compete. So while I believe that you should regret things, I now realize that taking ownership of your mistakes doesn't mean living in them. That's the entire purpose of God sending His son. We were bought with that price and we have no reason to hold on to our mistakes because He's already taken care of them. My favorite line in this song is Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son Stop fighting a fight it's already been won" The battle is already won and I don't have to live in my regrets. I learn from them and continue to strive to draw nearer to Him.

Quote

"Do you have a hunger for God? If we don't feel strong desires for the manifestation of the glory of God, it is not because we have drunk deeply and are satisfied. It is because we have nibbled so long at the table of the world. Our soul is stuffed with small things, and there is no room for the great." -John Piper

Donald Miller

“If we are not willing to wake up in the morning and die to ourselves, perhaps we should ask ourselves whether or not we are really following Jesus.”

Devotion

I loved my baseball chapel story this morning so I thought I'd share. Taken from www.baseballchapel.org

_________________________________

“After the earthquake came a fire, but The Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.” 1 Kings 19:12

Let me share with you a story about a young man and his grandfather. The young man had recently lost his job and didn’t know which way to turn. His grandfather had always been a voice of reason in his life, so the young man got in his truck and paid him a visit.

When he pulled up in the drive, the young man found his grandfather patiently waiting for him in the rocking chair on the front porch. After getting out and exchanging pleasantries, the conversation soon turned to the young man’s job loss. Pacing about the porch, the young man ranted about his problem until finally with clenched fists he shouted, “I’ve begged God to say something to help me. Tell me grandpa, why doesn’t God answer? I don’t understand.”

His grandfather, still gently rocking in his chair, spoke something in reply - something so hushed it was indistinguishable. The young man stepped across the porch. “What did you say grandpa?” he asked. His grandfather repeated himself, but again in a tone as soft as a whisper. So the young man moved closer until he was leaning on the rocking chair. “I’m sorry for yelling,” he said, “ but I still didn’t hear you.” With their heads bent together, his grandfather spoke once more. “God sometimes whispers,” he said, “so we will move closer to hear Him.” This time the young man heard his grandfather and he understood

________________________________

I loved the word picture that this story painted. I want my head bent together with His.

Happy Jesus is Alive Day!!!!

God is Good

So it's the last day of Spring Training and when Tim left for the field this morning, we still had no idea as to where we'd be living in 24 hours. That's the nature of this game - uncertainty.

When I first met Tim back in college, the only things I knew about baseball came from my brief stint as outfield onion picker on my 8 and under softball team (i.e. 3 strikes and you're out). Little did I know that this game would change my life.

I often joke that baseball is my sister wife; my husband's other love. We don't necessarily like each other, but we tolerate each other because he loves us both. But starting this off season and continuing into now, God's shown me reasons to love this crazy game and the uncertain life that it brings: it pushes me further into Him. If you don't know me, I can be a bit... Ummm... Tim might say hard headed. I've always (unfortunately) had to learn from my own mistakes and tried to control situations in my life. This has always led to me (again...unfortunately) trying to fix things and live life without asking for my Creator's help. With baseball, I have zero control. And when I say zero, I mean sub zero. Below what you think is possible. Zip. Nada. NONE. Baseball robs me of every constant in my life. Thus, forcing me to *cringe* TRUST God's plan.

This winter God laid a thought on my heart and has been reminding me of it every day since: Baseball is my mission field. We see so many places and meet so many people through this game. We are called to make disciples. This is my mission field. So I knew wherever God sent us, that's where He wanted our mission to be.

Easier said than done.

C.S. Lewis once said “We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.” This is where I have been. As days passed here in Arizona, and other guys were finding out their plans, I began to let fear overtake my being. I knew that God would provide. He always has. There've been nights when we blew up an air mattress and slept in the bat boy's locker room, but we had a roof over our heads. Even last year, when he got released, it turned out for the better. So my issue has never been "WILL God provide?", it's how hard life would have to be while obeying. What if He wanted us HERE?! In Arizona?! Or what if he wanted Tim to get released... Again? I let all of the bad possibilities overtake my thoughts and forgot the most important thing for a while: GOD IS ON HIS THRONE. Period. No matter where we are. Over the past few days (wih STILL no word), I've come to peace with that.

My husband just texted me and told me he made the AAA roster. This is huge for us considering that a few hours ago we were wondering if he'd have a job at all. But you know what I realized when I heard the news? God is not good because my husband is going to AAA, or because he has a job. God is good because He is God. He loves us more than our human brains can comprehend. Always has. Always will. He uses tough times and periods of waiting to draw us closer to Him. God is no better today because my husband made a team than he was around this time last year when my husband got released. He has promised to never leave us nor forsake us. He says he has a plan; to prosper us, not to harm us. This is always. Good times, bad times, yesterday, today, forever. God didn't put us in Louisville so that we could boast, He put us there because that's where He wants us to serve right now.

I fully realize how much God has blessed me with, or without, baseball. He has given me a family that shows me unconditional love, a husband that loves Christ more than he loves me, a roof over my head, and -oh yeah- HIS SON. That's where my strength comes from. Knowing that He will never, ever, ever, leave me.

Let me say this one more time: God is not good because my husband has a job. He is good because He is God. Valleys will come. Hardships will show up. But I know that God will always walk in front of me so that I don't fall. So take THAT baseball. There IS a constant in my life.

BATH TIME!

Christmas Pic

Thanks Anna Cressey!

HACKED

Someone obviously stole my phone and hacked my blog. WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE!?!

Cousins.

Do you ever really think about cousins? How they are really just the greatest? They're family, they can be friends, and you aren't toooo closely related, you know? They don't nag, they can't punish you...... And that leads me to say- I truly have the greatest cousin EVER! If you have ever met Maddox, you would understand. Hilarious, honest, and just plain fabulous. I just felt I needed to share how blessed I am. I am truly sorry towards anyone without a cousin as marvelous as mine.

Uh-Huh

Just a Thought

I'm at the gym and if it weren't rude I'd take a picture for you guys. I just am noticing for the millionth time that not one "fit" person is on the treadmill or elliptical. Sure. There are skinny people, just not fit. When will the information get out and people start to listen? YOU DON'T HAVE TO RUN 10 HOURS A DAY. IT'S NOT WORKING.

Here We Go!

I need about ten of these to get going after my last couple of days. Heading to CP to shoot a vlog, get in a good leg workout, then hitting the road! A week from now I'll be waking up at HOME.

Errr-Ohh

Someone ate too many cookies.

Humbled

So on this very important day of the year (ahem... my birthday), I thought this was an appropriate passage. As I sat here reading it, this wave of humility and thankfulness washed over me. I don't deserve to be here. Let's face it people... the way I lived my life there for a while, there was a great possibility that I shouldn't have made it to this day. Not without the grace and mercy and love of God. So as I was reading this it hit me... He has a plan. HA! I know, I know. So simple, right? I guess, as a birthday present to me, God allowed me just a tiny glimpse of the immensity of what that means. Basically, I'm so humbled with the knowledge of His love.
**breaks out in song**
'He's still working on me, to make me what I ought to be. It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars, the sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars. How loving and patient He must be... He's still working on me.'

The Dumbest "Holiday" Ever

But I like this poster...

Love Is...

This week's devotions have been all about applying 1 Cor. 13 to marriage.

(via www.baseballchapel.org)


“...but the greatest of these is LOVE.” 1 Corinthians 13:13b

How are we doing as we apply each of God’s truths about love to our marriage?

LOVE IS PATIENT…Even when the plane is late, the game went long, he’s forgetful, messy or impatient. Even when he is not thoughtful, or nice, we are called to love through patience.

LOVE IS KIND…Do we speak to him the way we want to be spoken to? Are we performing kind deeds that help our husband? Is our tongue slow to anger, sarcasm, and quick biting remarks? Are we expressing love through acts of kindness?

LOVE DOES NOT ENVY…Am I envious of his time alone? His eating out at nice restaurants and having time to finish conversations with other adults? Do I envy his success and his job? His accomplishments and the attention he receives from others?

LOVE IS NOT PROUD…Do I tell him I’m sorry? I’m wrong? Do I forgive him? Do I move on and let go of the hurt I feel? Do I act independent and self-sufficient, just to prove I can get along without him? Do I have a servant’s heart or a master’s command?

LOVE IS NOT RUDE…How am I treating him? Do I let him finish his sentences? Do I encourage and build up or humiliate and tear down?

LOVE IS NOT SELF-SEEKING…Do I wonder about all of my own “could have beens”? Am I struggling with putting his needs first? Is my marriage about “me” or is it about “us”?

LOVE IS NOT EASILY ANGERED…Even in the midst of a trying situation. Even if I am right. Even when I have every right... Do I show love through a calm, gentle, peaceful spirit regardless of the circumstances?

LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS…There will always be plenty to remember. We all make mistakes, sin, do the wrong thing, and hurt people we love. Are we wiping the slate clean? Are we loving him through an unconditional love that doesn’t keep track of all of the things he has done?

LOVE DOES NOT DELIGHT IN EVIL, BUT REJOICES IN THE TRUTH…Is our marriage centered on Jesus Christ and the Bible? Are we focused on the world and our desires or do we pursue a righteous, holy marriage? Where are we committed? To each other? To remaining faithful in our relationship with God and with one another? Rejoicing in truth creates a godly atmosphere in our homes. Understanding truth brings joy!

LOVE BEARS ALL THINGS, BELIEVES ALL THINGS, HOPES ALL THINGS, ENDURES ALL

THINGS… We should accept the entire package when we love someone. He’ll grow old, lose his hair, hurt your feelings...maybe he has qualities you aren’t crazy about. We are not perfect either. Praise God when we accept each other unconditionally.

LOVE NEVER FAILS…Is loving dying? Ask God to repair the love-it comes from Him. Am I failing him? Do I let him down? Is the love of God—that love that never lets you down—flowing into your husband’s life? We live in an imperfect world with imperfect people. Remember to live with the Lover of all, our Lord, as you love your husband.


Suggested Reading: 1 Corinthians 13
-Christi Eldred

Beauty lies in strength...: Fat kids = fat adults.

I demand that you read this.... Now please. I need to print this out and give it to some people I've nannied for...

Beauty lies in strength...: Fat kids = fat adults.: Ahhhh Facebook status updates. Again, these little one or two liners have brought something to my attention. Take a look at the kids...

O.M.G.

Every now and then I come across a dessert that is sooooo yummy and so healthy that I have to share. This is one of those desserts. If you know me, you know I have one of the biggest sweet tooth(s)(?) in the world. This was so sweet and delicious that I could only have about 5-6 bites. The best news? The only ingredients are oatmeal, almonds, dates, and water. YUMMMMM

180

Making Tim Jealous

You should really watch this video....

CLICK ME!!!

Cuteness

This is how I can tell it's baseball season... Tim spends his evenings watching pitching videos. I must really love this boy to share him with such a time consuming mistress. Oh. And don't be jealous of our fancy furniture. Special ordered from Wally-World and in a rare neon green color.

Black & White

God's Word is absolute. We can't choose what we want to change or alter so that we can ease our guilty minds. Yes. God is a loving God. Yes. God is a merciful God. And yes. God is a forgiving God. But He's also a jealous God and He wants ALL of us. So you can justify and squirm all you want but that doesn't change the fact that God's Word is true. Who are we to decide that because a verse tells us something we don't want to hear, that we can choose not to hear it? If the Bible says it, it's true. Period. Whether we like it or not.

Dear Friend,

He wants us to choose HIM. His mercy and grace and LOVE give us the strength to do so.

Philippians 3:12-14

New International Version (NIV)

¹² Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. ¹³ Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Here We Go...

I was hoping we could get out of here before they had their first snow of the year but I guess that was just wishful thinking. Time to bundle up!

Every Day's Mission

Lord, give me a heart for the lost...

Errr-Ohhh

It might be that time of year again...Time for me to re-watch my fave show of all time. It's Tim's favorite time of year (he just doesn't know it) and made super easy now with the new iPad. I might even start tonight! Oh Rory...

Ah-mazing

Who says social media is of no value?

Like a Hug from the Creator Himself...

Faith

So it's January. That means Spring Training starts in a little over a month, and baseball season is right around the corner. First of all though, Tim needs a job. This is his first free agent off season and it's just a taaaad different from ones in the past. Ok. Ok. A lot different. Our future is uncertain and in the air. Our future is always a little uncertain but in years past, at least we knew he had a job. This year? Well... it's different.

I must admit something. I mighta, maybe, possibly, given God a timeline and said something to the effect of "OK God. I'll trust you with our whole future. It's in your hands to send us where you want us to go. We'll follow... AslongasitsdonebyChristmas" (The last bit was thrown in there really quick hoping He would hear it enough to abide by it but not so much that He taught me a lesson about telling Him what to do) Oops. I guess He not only heard that last little statement but He heard it enough to laugh in my face. See, it's past Christmas and not only does Tim not have a job, but it's been deathly quiet on all fronts. Not even his agent has contacted him. This is unnerving. However, God has seen my worry and gently put His arms around us to let us know He's there. For example, the other day in the gym 2 people we don't even know told us they were praying for us! And this morning, I read this excerpt from BaptistBibleHour.org...

"Yet believing. There are a thousand obstacles to the Christian faith. Professors may try to trip you up, tragedy may tempt you to lose heart, and discouragement may threaten to undo your faith from the inside out. But true Christianity believes in Christ anyway, trusts in Christ regardless, draws near to Christ relentlessly. No matter what the obstacle or opposition, true faith yet believes."

So how do we handle the uncertainty? The same way the Bible tells us to 536474846353422 times and I'm just too stubborn to let it sink in: FAITH. God loves us. More than our human brains can comprehend. He has always provided and He will continue to do so. So I will continue to hope. Continue to trust. Continue to follow. Even when my human side tries to tell me it's futile, I will push that thought away. This is not about feeling, this is about pushing through and growing even when our "feelings" don't want to. Because He is God and He is worthy of our trust. Period. So I've taken the timeline off (I say that like I had a choice...) and surrendering. Even when I don't feel like it.

Yay!

I'm typing this from an airplane!