Funny Lord. Real Funny...

It never ceases to amaze me that God knows how stubborn I am and when He decides to teach me a lesson, He really hammers it home. Take, for instance, my trust issue. He thought I needed more so He brought a minor-league baseball player into my life and now I live a life having no idea where I'll be tomorrow. Or take my innate desire to be by myself and not want to reach out too much. Just last year alone we lived with approximately 9 different roommates, a host family, and I was forced to meet new wives because of a new team. He really knows how to teach me a lesson. So when I began praying to understand His love better, I should've known He wouldn't answer that prayer any differently. I'm excited to hear what He has to teach me on this lesson because we're not far into it and it's already been amazing! I shared recently on how I'm learning not to live in my regrets. To me that's all a part of understanding God's love. If we could even grasp a tiny morsel of how much He loves us, I believe it changes our view on a lot. So anyways, it was funny to me when I decidedout of the blue to start reading Brennan Manning's "Ruthless Trust" this morning. I've had it forever but haven't read it yet because I've been in the middle of other books. Which is why it was strange that I felt compelled to start it this morning because I'm still in the middle of another book. However, once I opened it and began to read, it was no longer odd to me... I knew it was exactly what God wanted me to do. You first need to know that this book is a sequel to his other book "The Ragamuffin Gospel" in which he talks about how God's love is available to us no matter what state our lives are in. So when it says the word "ragamuffin", that's why. Let me share an excerpt with you:

After stumbling and falling, the ragamuffin does not sink into despondency and endless self-recrimination; she quickly repents, offers the broken moment to the Lord, and renews her trust in the Messiah of sinners. She knows that Jesus is comfortable with broken people who remember how to love.


Ahhh. He always knows exactly what I need to hear. I'm looking forward to reading more of this book.

Miss you all!

Redemption

Redeem   [ri-deem] 1.to buy or pay off; clear by payment 2.to recover (something pledged) by payment or other satisfaction 3.to release from blame or debt _____________________________________________________________________ Recently, I've discovered a song that I listen to at least 3 times a day... Probably more. The song is called "Redeemed" by Big Daddy Weave. You can watch the video here... OR, here are the lyrics... ________________________________________________________________________________________ Seems like all I could see was the struggle Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past Bound up in shackles of all my failures Wondering how long is this gonna last Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son Stop fighting a fight it's already been won" I am redeemed, You set me free So I'll shake off these heavy chains Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be I am redeemed, I'm redeemed All my life I have been called unworthy Named by the voice of my shame and regret But when I hear You whisper, "Child lift up your head" I remember, oh God, You're not done with me yet I am redeemed, You set me free So I'll shake off these heavy chains Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be Because I don't have to be the old man inside of me 'Cause his day is long dead and gone Because I've got a new name, a new life, I'm not the same And a hope that will carry me home I am redeemed, You set me free So I'll shake off these heavy chains Wipe away every stain, 'cause I'm not who I used to be I am redeemed, You set me free So I'll shake off these heavy chains Wipe every stain, yeah, I'm not who I used to be Oh, God, I'm not who I used to be Jesus, I'm not who I used to be 'Cause I am redeemed Thank God, redeemed _______________________________________________________________________________________ If you know me at all, you're aware that I've done plenty of things I'm not proud of. Tim and I were talking the other day about regrets. A popular saying these days is "I have no regrets". I actually hate that saying for a few reasons. One being that it's completely selfish. When you screw up, you not only hurt yourself but people around you as well. For me to say that I have no regrets - I feel like - would be a slap in the face to my family. It'd be like saying "I lied to you, I pulled away from you, I said things that weren't kind to you, I turned my back on everything you guys have tried to teach me, and I treated you poorly, but oh... I have no regrets about it". That would be a big negative. Not only is it selfish, but in my opinion it shows a lack of maturity. If you mess up - which everyone does - but you never come to a place where you look back and go Gee, that's not how I wanted to live my life then you never come to a place where you've moved beyond that. If you don't regret anything you've done, why would you ever want to change? I believe that you need to feel guilty and regret things in order to move beyond them and become a better person. We cannot accept God's grace and love until we come to the place where we realize that we need it. Now, having said all of that, I've realized lately that I've become stuck in my regrets. Like chains draped over my shoulders, I was allowing my regrets to dictate my actions. I'm not sure if it comes from growing up in sports, being in unhealthy relationships, or if it's just ingrained in my human nature, but I constantly feel like I need to do more good to make up for all the bad I've done. Recently God showed me that living like that is like running on a hamster wheel: I'll tire myself out from working so hard but I won't actually go anywhere. God gave me His son... I can't compete. So while I believe that you should regret things, I now realize that taking ownership of your mistakes doesn't mean living in them. That's the entire purpose of God sending His son. We were bought with that price and we have no reason to hold on to our mistakes because He's already taken care of them. My favorite line in this song is Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son Stop fighting a fight it's already been won" The battle is already won and I don't have to live in my regrets. I learn from them and continue to strive to draw nearer to Him.